Grief and Bereavement Resources

Pathways Grief Support Coordinators, along with the PACT Consult Service are available to sit with you and help with you while you grapple with difficult decisions and possible outcomes. We are honoured to be able to work with families who are both hopeful and grieving at the same time.

Grieving parents often are uncertain about what to do about their breast milk when their infant is dying or has already died. The following link contains information to support grieving parents as they decide about cessation of breast milk production (PDF) or to consider donation – whether it is donation of milk already pumped or to continue to pump milk for other infants in need.  

If you are looking to consider this option, please contact the Rogers Hixon Milk Bank to find out if you can donate and begin the process. If you have stored Expressed Breast Milk at SickKids and want to consider donating, please contact the Rogers Hixon Milk Bank ASAP via their website, as the milk can only be stored for 30 days after your child's death. You will require at least 5 Litres of saved milk for donation. This gift will assist premature and ill babies in hospitals. After this point it will be respectfully discarded.   

For more information about our program, please click on the Pathways Grief Support Program brochure (PDF).

• Photography. Either with a Grief Support Cart Camera and SD card provided or through contacting a community/hospital photographer who offers professional photography at no charge (you can also find out if community photography is available for your family through the Grief Support Coordinator) 
• Going online and creating a Song of Love for your child – The song is created for your infant/child/teen with their likes and favourite things by a songwriter and is then sung by an artist just for your child. It can be marked urgent if you anticipate your child's death within the next few weeks but the CD will usually arrive 4 to 8 weeks after submission via online or fax. You can request a certain style of music and they will do their best to help that happen. Visit the Song of Love website to learn more about the nonprofit organization or find the app, available for Apple and Android.  
• 3D molds made with family and child: (see Instructions for Care of 3D Mold [PDF] after they are made) 
• Model Magic molds  
• Sound disks to capture a heartbeat or the sound of a child's or parents' voice (10 seconds)  
• Painted hands/feet on art boards 
• Thumb print trees 
• Lip prints 
• Hugs from child to family and from family to child for when you are not able to be together (you can use a strip of fabric the length of your arms and chest decorated with loving memories) 
• Butterfly Bravery Bead – this is for families to complete their Bravery Bead chain after the death of their child. It is sent by their clinical team with their first bereavement card. If you did not receive one in the first few months after your child's death, please contact the Grief Support Coordinators.
• Memory Boxes – to place the items in, which can be decorated by the child or siblings/parents as a safe place to store their valuable memories 
• Creation and work towards fulfillment of a Bucket List, with the child who has a life limiting condition or on their behalf if they can't participate fully 

Specific written resources to support families are also available on the Grief Support Cart for: 

• parents 
• grandparents 
• siblings 
• special circumstances (single parents, death of a twin, same sex couples, etc.) 

For parents of infants (under 1 year) who have died, there is an American group called: Mollys Bears who will make matching-weighted teddy bears for parents who are grieving the death of their infant.  

• Unless time constraints are enforced through religious or family concerns, you can take the time you need to plan for your child’s funeral. If your child's body is at SickKids and you anticipate needing more than 1-2 weeks, please contact the Grief Support Coordinators at grief.support@sickkids.ca so that we are aware of any timeline changes. 
• Funerals can be expensive if you are not aware of how much you can afford to spend.  
• If you have a loved one who has been earth buried, it <I>might</i> be possible to place an infant’s casket or the cremated remains of an older child’s body with the loved one who is buried. Every cemetery has different rules, so please check before making plans. You will need permission from whoever is the grave’s owner to allow this to happen, and the costs associated will include opening and closing the grave as well as any other service costs but you will not have to pay for the grave itself. 

Some families want to have opportunities to reduce the impact on the environment with chemically reduced burial options.   

• CINDEA - Canadian Integrative Network for Death Education and Alternatives. This website connects people to books and resources with the intention of moving away from traditional funeral home-based services, towards more natural options. If you are looking for natural alternatives, this resource may be useful to explore.  
• Thumbies - Your funeral home can help you capture a memory of your loved one through a Thumbprint, or hand/foot print. Please make sure you get one if you haven't done them before. If you have captured them before, you can make a photocopy and use that to send to the company to purchase personalized jewelry.  

Many parents are unaware of this loving option. If you are able to consider it, the cost is much less than a traditional burial (which includes grave plot, opening and closing fees). However, cremation requires more thought and a potential cost to ensure you have a place to visit your loved one’s cremains (scattering garden/niche/a private place in your home are possibilities). This can also be helpful for families who are not planning on staying in a certain area, as it can be very difficult to move and leave your loved one’s grave behind. 

Some families choose to do a couple of other things with their child's ashes;these examples are by no means extensive and new options occur all the time. Please understand that all have costs associated and you need to be thoughtful about planning.  

• Tattoos - Some families have identified that a quality tattoo artist can help them if they choose to have one made in their child's memory. A tiny amount of the cremains can be safely added to the ink (it has been sterilized by burning at a very high temperature for a long time) keeping the connection close to your child forever. 
• Cremation jewelry - Funeral homes can provide these options but you can also find them online for much less.  
• Artful Ashes - The idea of taking a small amount of cremated ash and creating a beautiful memorial orb/heart may feel right to some families. Please contact the website for details and more information. 

In the Oakville area, Lighthouse Peer Support groups are facilitated by professional staff and trained volunteers with years of experience in grief education and child/youth development. Support groups meet on weekday evenings, every other week for 90 minutes during the school year. There are breaks in the summer and for school holidays.  

If you are interested in joining a group, contact Lighthouse at (905) 337-2333, email info@lighthousegriefsupport.org or visit the Lighthouse website for more information.  

2322 Rebecca St. Oakville, ON L6L 6N8
Phone: (905) 337-2333 
Email: info@lighthousegriefsupport.org 

Since 1995, Seasons Centre for Grieving Children has been providing peer to peer support for children between the ages of 4 and 24 years who are grieving the death or life-threatening illness of an immediate family member.

The Centre is founded on the belief that every child deserves the opportunity to grieve in a supportive and understanding environment. There are no fees for our services. Children are able to attend programs regardless of their family’s financial situation. Seasons Centre for Grieving Children receives no government funding and relies on the generous support of our community. 

38 McDonald St., Barrie, Ontario 
Phone: 705-721-5437 

The wonderful Children and Youth Grief Network organization provides online resources for anyone in the country, including information on supporting children through the death of any loved family member. They have included an educational video series that we encourage you to review as it will provide great resources for you and your family.   

Several of their Beareaved Families of Ontario affiliate sites offer sibling grief groups. Please check out what is available in your local community. 

Bereaved Families of Ontario – Toronto  

Mutual Support Groups: Children’s Program 

A free* drop-in program for children who have experienced the death of a loved one. This is currently undergoing updates, so please check out their website for more information. 

The drop-in program consists of: 

• Small groups for children ages 6-12 meeting twice a month 
• Groups run by trained volunteers 
• Groups based on art and activity 
• Caregivers who attend an educational support group at the same time which provides information on how to help your child(ren) cope with the death 

Where: The group will be held at the BFO - Toronto Offices (will be online)

• 250 Merton St. Suite 202 (Yonge and Davisville). Parking and TTC accessible

For more information or if you are interested in this program please call 416-440-0290 or visit BFO’s Support Group page. You must reserve space in the group to attend. 

*Groups are free but any donation is appreciated!

Bereaved Families of Ontario- Halton/Peel 

Note: please check their website to find what is currently available. Centre for Grief and Healing, we offer support for children and youth who have experienced the death of a loved one. We support ages 6 and up through individual and group sessions. 

Children Services (Ages 6-13) 

Individual Sessions: Our professional and trained staff work together to create a safe, caring, and non-judgmental space to provide each child with the opportunity to learn, share, and engage in conversation that will help reflect upon and work through their grief. This is done by creating a powerful atmosphere of connection and support through their journey towards a new normal. In each individual session, a peer support worker will have a themed, art-based activity set out for each child to work on throughout the session. 

*There are no groups for children currently. 

Youth Services (14-18) 
Individual Sessions: Our professional and trained staff work together to create a safe, caring, and non-judgmental space to provide each individual with the opportunity to learn, share, and engage in conversation that will help reflect upon and work through their grief. This is done by creating a powerful atmosphere of connection and support through their journey towards a new normal. 

Group Sessions: The Art Expression Grief Support Group is a mixed loss group that provides youth with an opportunity to share their story with others who have also experienced the loss of a loved one. This group incorporates different types of art into discussion around common topics related to grief in a safe and confidential space. 

For more information please contact: 
Centre for Grief and Healing (Bereaved Families of Ontario - Halton/Peel) 
P: 905-848-4337 
E: info@bereavedfamilies.ca 
A: 610-33 City Centre Drive, Mississauga, ON L5B 2N5 
www.bereavedfamilies.ca

Rainbows for All Children Canada is the largest international non-profit organization committed to helping children and teens grieve and grow after loss. Rainbows has served with more than 2.7 million youth since 1983.

Rainbows forms partnerships with schools, faith communities and social service agencies so they may establish grief support groups and help vulnerable children. Rainbows builds the confidence and self-esteem of hurting children, improves communications, prevents destructive behaviours, and improves academic performance. We have developed seven age-appropriate curricula and extensive, interactive training for the sites' volunteers delivering our services. 

Telephone: 1-877-403-2733 
Email: admin@rainbows.ca

Yorktown Family Services is an organization that runs grief programming for kids 6–18 years old and has been a great resource for many Toronto families.  

• Davis, D.L. (1996). Empty cradle, broken heart: surviving the death of your baby. Golden, CO: Fulcrum Publishing.  
• Fitzgerald, H. (1992) The Grieving Child- a parent’s guide. A Fireside Book: New York. 
• Gunkel, V. (1999) Helping Children Understand Death. Ontario Funeral Services Association: Toronto. 
• Ilse, S., Hammer Burns, L. and Erling Martinez, S. (1996) Sibling Grief. Wintergreen Press: Maple Plain, MN. 
• Johnson, J. & Johnson, M. (1998). Children Grieve, too- helping children cope with grief. Centering Corporation. 
• Kuebelbeck, A. & Davis, D.L. (2011). A gift of time: continuing your pregnancy when your baby's life is expected to be brief. Baltimore, MD: Johns Hopkins University Press.  
• Leitao, Vince (2015). Jonathan, Do you know me? 
• Morash, Shari (2014) Loving your baby- a gentle and practical guide to parenting through miscarriage, stillbirth and infant death. Guelph, Ontario, Canada: Loving Your Baby Books. 
• Nussbaum, Kathy (1998). Preparing the children: information and Ideas for families facing terminal illness and death. Gifts of Hope: Kodiak, AK. 
• Wolfelt, A, D. (1990) A Child’s View of Grief- A guide for caring adults. Service Corporation International. 
• Woodward, J. (1999) The Lone Twin- Understanding twin bereavement and loss. Free Association Books: London. 

• Grollman, E.A. (1990). Talking about death: A dialogue between parent and child  Beacon Press: Boston, MA.   
• Turner, M. (1998). Talking with children and young people about death and dying: A workbook. Jessica Kingsley Publishers:London & Philadelphia.  
• Mellonie, R., & Ingpen, R. (1983). Lifetimes: A beautiful way to explain death to children. Bantam Books: New York ,NY.  
• Maple, M. (1992). On the wings of a butterfly: A story about life and death. Parenting Press: Seattle, WA.  
• Talbot, K. (2002). What Forever Means After the Death of a Child Transcending the Trauma, Living with the Loss. Brunner-Routledge: London, England.  

• Bereavement Services RTS (1998). Talking with Children about Perinatal Loss. Bereavement Services: La Crosse, WI. 
• Blanford, C. (2010). My baby Big Sister. Ananda Press: Western Springs, IL.  
• Blanford, C. (2008). Something Happened- a book for children and parents who have experienced pregnancy loss. Something Happened: Western Springs, IL.  
• Boritzer, E. (2000). What is Death? Veronica Lane Books: Santa Monica, CA. 
• Boulden, J. &Boulden,  J. (1995). When Death Happens. Boulden Publishing: Weaverville, CA. 
• Buscaglia, L. (2002). The Fall of Freddy the Leaf- A Story of Life for All Ages.  Slack Incorporated:Thoeofare, NJ. 
• Butler, S. (2008). A Letter from Heaven. AuthorHouse: Bloomington, IN. 
• Butler, S. (2009). We Do Remember You. Enheart Publishing: Charlotte, NC 
• Coleman, P. (1995). Where the balloons go? Centering Corporation: Omaha, NE.  
• Cressman, A.S. (2014). I think of you every day. Canada: Amanda Cressman
• Dernederlanden, C. (2000). Where is Robert? Roberts Press: St. Catherine’s Ontario.  
• Erling, J. (1998) Our Baby Died-Why? A journal and workbook for children. deRuyter-Nelson Publications, Inc.: St. Paul., MN. 
• Foster-Morgan, K. (1995) Sunflower Mountain. Sunflower Publications: Toronto, Ontario, Canada. 
• Grollman, E. A. (1990) Talking about Death- a dialogue between parent and child. Beacon Press: Boston. 
• Gryte, M. (1999) No New Baby- for siblings who have a brother or sister die before birth. Centering Corporation: Omaha.  
• Hansen, W. (1997) The Next Place. Waldman House Press, Inc.: Minneapolis. 
• Heegaard, M. (1988) When Someone Very Special Dies- Children Can Learn to Cope with Grief.Woodland Press: Minneapolis, MN. 
• Heegaard, M. (1991) When someone has a very serious illness- Children can learn to cope with loss and change. Woodland Press: Minneapolis, MN. 
• Heegaard, M. (1991). When something terrible happens- children can learn to cope with grief.Woodland Press: Minneapolis, MN. 
• Johnson, J,.and Dr. S.M. (1998). Children Die, Too. Centering Corporation: Omaha. 
• Johnson, J. (2001). The Very Beautiful Dragon. Centering Corporation: Omaha, NE. 
• Johnson, J. & Grollman, E.A. (2001). A child’s book about burial and cremation. Centering Corporation: Omaha, NE. 
• Johnson, J. & Grollman, E.A. (2001). A child’s book about funerals and cemeteries. Centering Corporation: Omaha, NE. 
• Johnson, J. and S.M. (2005 reprint). Tell me Papa- answers to questions children ask about death and dying. Centering Corporation: Omaha, NE. 
• Johnson, M. (2003). Where’s Jess? Centering Corporation: Omaha, NE. 
• Josephson, K.B. & Sourkes, B.M. (1995). My Life is feelings. (English and French). University of Pittsburgh Press: Pittsburgh, PA. 
• Karst, Patrice (2014). The Invisible String.  DeVorss & Company: Camarillo, CA. 
• Krasny Brown, L, and Brown, M (1998). When Dinosaurs Die- A Guide to Understanding Death.Little, Brown and Company: Boston. 
• Keough, P, (2001). Remembering Our Baby: a workbook for brothers or sisters whose baby dies before birth. Centering Corporation: Omaha, NE. 
• Klicker, R. L. (1988). Kolie and the Funeral. Thanos Institute: Amherst NY. 
• Lewis, A. (2005). When someone you love has cancer- a guide to help kids cope. One Caring Place: St. Meinrad, IN. 
• Mills, J.C. (2004). Gentle willow- a story for children about dying. Washington DC: MaginationPress.  
• Mills, J.C. (1992) Little tree: A story for children with serious medical problems. New York:Magination Press 
• Munoz-Kiehne, M. (2000). Since My Brother Died. (English and Spanish together) Centering Corporation: Omaha, NE. 
• Myers Trunz, D. (2001/2004) Laughter in the Wind. Cheerful Cherub Press. Lakewood, CO. 
• Old, W.C. (1995). Stacy had a little sister. Albert Whitman & Company: Morton Grove, Ill. 
• Peterkin, A. (1992) What About me? When brothers and sisters get sick. Magination Press: New York. 
• Posen Young, R. (2001) Samantha’s Unicorn. Temmy Latner Centre for Palliative Care: Toronto. 
• Posen Young, R. (2003) Jamie’s Rainbow. Temmy Latner Centre for Palliative Care: Toronto. 
• Samuels, V. (2005) Always My Twin- for young children who have experienced the death of their twin sibling. Trafford Publishing: Victoria, BC  
• Schwiebert, P. & DeKlyen, C. (1999). Tear Soup. Grief Watch: Portland, OR. 
• Schwiebert, Pat (2003) We were gonna have a baby, but we had an angel instead. Grief Watch: Portland, OR. 
• Schwiebert, Pat (2007). Someone came before you. Grief Watch: Portland, OR. 
• Shibley Abbott, Susan (1996) Lessons. Centering Corporation: Omaha, NE. 
• Silverman, J. (1999). Help me say goodbye- activities for helping kids cope when a special person dies. Fairview Drive: Minneapolis, MN. 
• Silverman, P. R. (2000) Never Too Young to Know- death in children’s lives. Oxford University Press: New York. 
• Sims, A. (2011).  My Always Sister - coloring book. St. Paul, MN: deRuyter-Nelson Publications Inc. 
• Stickney, D. (2004). Water bugs & dragonflies- explaining death to young children. The Pilgrim Press: Cleveland, OH. 
• Stillwell, E. (1998). Sweet Memories- for children and adults... to create healing and loving memories for holidays and other special days. Centering Corporation: Omaha, NE. 
• Thomas, M.W. (2005). What does “died” mean? (Navajo) Salina Bookshelf, Inc.: Flagstaff, AR. 
• Vogel, R. H.  (1994) The Snowman- A book about children and grief. Centering Corporation: Omaha.
• Wolfelt, A. D. (1996). How I feel- a coloring book for grieving children. Batesville Management Services: USA. 
• Wolfelt, A. D. (2001). Healing your grieving heart for kids- 100 practical ideas- simple advice and activities for children after a death. Companion Press: Fort Collins, CO. 
• Wolfelt, A. D. (2001). Healing your grieving heart for teens- 100 practical ideas- simple tips for understanding and expressing your grief. Companion Press: Fort Collins, CO. 

• "Fausse couche Vrai deuil" by Manon Cyr and Isabelle Clément for losses in the first trimester up to 20 weeks of pregnancy.
• "Les rêves envolés" by Suzy Fréchette-Piperniis  is a good resource for perinatally bereaved parents.
• For children, my favorite book is called "L'histoire de minuit, la chatte dont le frère nouveau-né est mort" 
  
  

1. The Courageous Parents Network - a wonderful website that is family friendly and helps families and caregivers to think about their child with a significant illness.   
2. KidsGrief.ca - a brand new (November 2017) grief resource for families helping grieving children. This resource is Canadian! 
3. The Sibling Connection - this website has some amazing resources to help parents to help their kids, and provide a great context for parents who are trying to understand their children’s grief. 
4. The Dougy Centre - The Dougy Center provides support in a safe place where children, teens, young adults, and their families grieving a death can share their experiences. We provide support and training locally, nationally and internationally to individuals and organizations seeking to assist children in grief. We are supported solely through private support from individuals, foundations and companies. The Dougy Center does not charge a fee for its services. 
5. Loving Your Baby - This website was created to provide a Canadian context to perinatal and pediatric grief. The author has developed a book and workbook for grieving families and is currently working on an updated version to the book to support families whose children have died.  It is a great resource.  
6. Forever Heart Publishing - This website has a wonderful online book you can purchase written by Michelle, mother of Tyler who died unexpectedly after surgery for hypoplastic left heart syndrome.  I will Hold You in My Heart Forever-A Baby Book for Little Angels was created to provide Michelle and other parents and families a scrapbook to tell the story of their child who died, just like a baby book for healthy children.  Each page isPDF'd so you can print it out yourself (only $5.00 to print) and only use the pages you need.  It is designed to fit into a standard binder so that you can continue to add to your child's story whenever you need to.  If you are looking for a scrapbook that is appropriate for older children who have died, she has added pages that you can purchase in hard copy, if you contact Michelle directly (michelle@foreverheart.ca).  
7. Men's Grief by Tom Golden - this website was created by therapist Tom Golden who offers books, web seminars and wonderful resources for people who want to have a greater understanding of the masculine grief experience.  His book "Swallowed by a Snake" is excellent and he continues to write from his clinical work in ways that empower grieving dads and others to access the support that they need.  
8. Jonathan- Do You Know Me? - Written by father, Vince Leitao, this book is a reflective expression of a father's journey through his son Jonathan's cancer and subsequent death.  Vince's website speaks to his experiences of "journeying through" grief.